you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
