He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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