I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
