somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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