If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
