He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
