Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
