dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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