drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
