Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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