How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
