doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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