Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
