My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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