I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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