The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
