She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i will never coherently bang her
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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