apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
