I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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