She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
