Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i think im in europe. pls send help
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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