Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
