your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I will pee on everything he values.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
