the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
