Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
