I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
