Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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