4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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