But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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