he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
