what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
