so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
