are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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