Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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