Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
