Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
