am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
