u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
