They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
