Dual....:-)
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
