I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
