Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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