yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't deserve a penis
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
