i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
