I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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