Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I want to fling myself into the sun
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
