If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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