I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Bring me that man meat
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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