This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
