speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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