everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
