This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
