I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I did not marry a roomba.
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